There is so much that’s difficult bound up in life. So many things that are unfair or make no sense, so many things just aren’t okay. There is struggle, discomfort, fear, sometimes outright pain and all of it hurts, there’s no way around it. There are things so excruciating to move through that we become unrecognizable once on the other side.
For a variety of reasons, I’ve been musing about what to do with all of the hurting lately. And this weekend, I received an answer from a friend. It’s okay for things to not be okay, she said. And there’s an aspect of this that seems really huge. She didn’t mean that suffering is insignificant, something to be minimized or ignored, what she meant is there is space for it.
Maybe you believe in divine order, maybe you don’t. It doesn’t matter. Whatever you happen to come up against, you’ll find your way. We all do. My friend’s words made me recognize the importance of creating room for as much of the range of human experience we can handle, and then to consider stretching ourselves beyond that. It made me want to obliterate the idea of resisting asking for help, to normalize it.
Another thing I have been thinking of a lot lately is the idea of coexisting, in all ways. I think of the relationships that trigger and confound us, the aspects of others or even ourselves we find challenging to be with, how we often make choices to avoid what’s hard, denying the opportunity to learn to carry more. It’s tough to accept contradiction. It is laborious to hold disparate entities at the same time, but if it is wholeness and reality we seek, what is our choice? Again, the theme is making more room, stretching ourselves to see from different perspectives to hold more. Humanity has this capacity in infinite supply.
There is so much hope for this world, for each and every one of us. All we have to do is show up with willingness, to practice moving the resistance in all its forms. For if we practice, what we barely tolerate now can become something we grow to love.